You know you are a Frandshipper if…

  1. Your English is Engrish while her’s is a notch above that of native English speakers.
  2. You can only be as creative as typing desi small talk like “Oye Hoye” whereas she blogs about international politics, social dynamics and quantum mechanics.
  3. “You have fallen in love” with her when all you know about her is how she looks in her synthetic Facebook profile pic.
  4. The girls physically around you are just too humdrum, too untrustworthy or simply “not your type” whereas every other girl you come across in the webosphere is a perfect match.
  5. You comment “Looking nice” on at least half of her profile pictures if she has by any chance “befranded” you.
  6. You send her a bombastic Facebook message telling her how “different” she is when you find her unresponsive to the poetry snippets you posted on her wall.
  7. If your fail in your attempt at making a connection, it’s always because she’s arrogant.
  8. You keep saying to yourself: “Ye nahi to aur sahi. Aur nahi to aur sahi”.
  9. You are always late to educe that  the profile of the girl you love more than anything else was fake.
  10. If she likes one of your posts as a token of courtesy OR starts a chat OR compliments you for something, you conclude she has a crush on you.
  11. You have tagged her in your flattering self-portraits with you in your best outfit and a pair of sunglasses.
  12. You’re the mullah type who plans of forcing burqah on your wife whereas she’s someone who roams around the city in sleeveless shirts and tight jeans.
  13. She’s “your type” in an inverse proportion to her weight and skin tone.
  14. You’re a misogynist. She’s a feminist. And you still send her a friend request.
  15. (Even if none of above applies, you end up being called a frandshipper if…) She wasn’t interested.

You may also Like: An actual spam message from a Frandshipper.

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10 Comments

  1. I was reading some news post at ET… you had commented there with your blogger profile. There. I jumped in. Well, Yeah I am a frandshipper. We guys are all frandshippers, arent we? I wonder why gals aren’t. Lol, Just kidding.

    I’m sorry if commenting on your rantings means breaking into your private castle. Just that I found it interesting to see a classfellow blog. Now not many of us are into such stuff.

    Thanks for the compliment. And thanks for being here.

  2. ET is awesome. Though they never publish me. One of the two times I tried, they dropped me an e-mail saying the piece was “too harsh”.

    Nice you commented and ‘followed’. I would have lurked.

    & You’re welcome.

  3. LOL, no. A girl, “by definition”, cannot be a frandshipper. Let’s say what you do is intellectual trolling or inquisitive browsing. Just Kidding, lol. I know you’re not that. 🙂 I’d rather call you polite for your ways.

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